Tsukiji ("S'keejee") Fish Market

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Originally uploaded by me-spirit.

We are a fish lovin' family (we are an island people, after all). As Greg fondly recalled of Mom, she can turn a Jacques Costeau documentary into a food show. As a school of shimmery sardines swim across the TV screen, she'd remark, "Mmmmmmmm, sardinas!"

No doubt, we were like kids visiting Disneyland. We were just amazed at how vast the Tsukiji Market was, how huge the tuna were and how many varieties of sealife -fresh and dried- were being offered. Men single-handedly loading 60 kilo (132 lb) flash frozen tuna onto carts or flinging them across the floor caught our attention.

Then we had to get the hell out of the way.


It looks calm, but the guys with the wooden carts and those with motorized carts scoot around super fast. Not one collision, although one salty worker growled at us, "Get out of my way!", then offered up a smile for the baka-gaijin (dumb foreigners, us!) with cameras.

We made our way through the wholesale market area and at 6:30am, we already missed the fish auction. The market's daily schedule charged on without us. We lost Tatay in the stalls, when he had the great idea of stuffing a suitcase full of packaged dried fish. I'd have to consider Fumiko-san an accomplice for translating the negotiations. He left (reluctantly) a happy man. He married his son off the day before and then he woke up and went to a Seafood Lover's Heaven.

I am waiting for a video game version for the Tsukiji market. The goal? Getting up before the crack of dawn to make the 5am subway and then find your way out of the subway and to the market. Not daunted? Avoid being mowed over by tuna-laden wooden carts and motorized carts as well as not being the cause of a crash. Another obstacle, if you select the "Filipino player": pry your drooling father away from the dried fish. Finally make it to the fish auction and win a bid on the best tuna!

We really enjoyed ourselves here and the joke that morning was that this was the highlight of our trip.

Kabukicho

What does a bride and groom do on their wedding night? How about taking your family to Kabukicho, home to bright lights, Love Hotels, pachinko parlours, and your garden variety sex clubs! Apparently, Yakuza are all over the place, but I wouldn't be able to distinguish any. Tokyo's red-light district is pretty clean and safe compared to a walk down Market Street in the City.

The bright lights of the pachinko parlours lured us inside. I wasn't aware of the gambling element of Pachinko. As a kid in Hawaii, I always associated it as a toy. The folks hanging out at the Pachinko parlours were like zombies, staring at the machines and plunking the metal balls, one after another, again and again, in the hopes of getting paid more metal balls (and the promise of yen!). Mindless stress relief, I suppose.

What caught our attention, more than the S&M club, the Kabuki-cho tourist information center (Always so service-oriented, even if you neeed assistance itching that scratch for a fetish), or the Love Hotels we passed was this:



Now, doesn't "Kai" look so coy? Host bars are the hot thing here. The "look" doesn't evoke any desire from me: 80's shaggy mullet with a dose of Sun-In, a cheesy grin and pose like a Soap Opera actor. Men that use more hair product than I do just don't do it for me. Then again, I'm not their target market: women with plenty of cash to drop a few G's per evening. Japanese women have more disposal income now, so this seems to be the female equivalent to Hostess Bars that salarymen frequent (with women from my motherland as the hostesses, no doubt). Here, women can spend money as they choose, buy and consume rounds of drinks in a safe atmosphere. The best Hosts can rake in tens of thousands of dollars per month. Norv contemplated growing his hair out and bleaching it blond, in the hopes of making 'easy' money off of his wit and charm.

Before the end of the trip, we all started making the "Kai" pose for any photo opportunities - especially Norv.

"Hell Froze Over" or "Norv in a Suit"

A frequent comment from friends, especially Norv's friends and his Mom has been, "Wow, Norv in a suit!" Norv likens donning a suit to a sighting of Haley's Comet: once every 76 years. Most friends have never seen him in a suit and as you can tell, a suit and tie can't contain his personality. Yes, the cost basis on the suit is down to roughly $13 per use and no, he does not use clip-on ties!

He does look nice out of his element (free t-shirt, jeans or shorts, and tevas that have been all over the world).

Kekkon Hiroen - the Reception

Typically, friends and relatives are invited to the reception, but they chose to keep it simple, since receptions are pretty expensive. Exchanging gifts is pervasive in Japanese culture, and with weddings, guests typically give the equivalent of $200US or more as a gift. Norv's friend, Kanji-san, told us that he declines wedding invitations because the expense to a guest can add up, expecially if there are multiple weddings in a year. The days following the wedding, Greg and Fumiko-san attended several dinners hosted by her friends, ranging from kaiseki meals, Japanese fusion and French cuisine. Greg mentioned that this is a newer trend and unbelievably, her friends hosted the dinners and still gave them gifts!

Note to the family and friends: there will be a reception in the Fall, depending on Fumiko-san's arrival.

Additionally, Kekkon Hiroen guests receive a substantial gift from the couple, not the truffles, trinkets and sometimes ,junk, that we're used to. We all received beautifully crafted nested boxes from Greg and Fumiko-san.

The reception was another nice bonding opportunity for the families. A quick toast in Eigo-ga (English) from Kazuo-san, Fumiko-san's brother-in-law, who rehearsed his toast for weeks in front of his colleagues. We quickly moved to dinner, which was a mix of both Japanese and French cuisine. Celebration meals serve Tai, as a play on words for "mede-tai" (happiness, auspiciousness) or"o medetai" (I wish to congratulate you) . We dined on "tai no sashimi" once again, but since it's a new favorite we didn't mind meal re-runs.



No dancing the Macarena or Chicken dance with a cheesy DJ, no bouquet or garter toss -- thank God and the Kami for that -- just another good dinner, more time for family bonding and origami creations from the kid. A quick note about Fumiko-san's nieces and nephew: best behaved kids ever! Ryota-chan, the baby, cried only ONCE all day and that wasn't until the end of the evening.

Kekkon Shiki - the Wedding Ceremony

Behind all the kimono finery and the stateliness of the wedding procession, Shinto wedding ceremonies are much simpler compared to the Filipino Catholic weddings I'm accustomed. No "Catholic Calisthenics" of "sit, stand, kneel, repeat" and "get a cracker at the end" (Norv's observation). Add in the additional Filipino customs of offerings and symbols of "cord, candle and veil", the wedding entourage, a crowd of 200-300 guests and it becomes a very large affair. I'm tired just writing the Cliff Notes version of a Filipino wedding! The Shinto wedding ceremony was only 20 minutes. Again, the interplay of simple and elegant.

Inside the shrine, it was a haven from the surreal experience of the procession. Tatay was overcome with both awe from the cultural elements we were being exposed to, and emotion, from marrying off the first of his children. And of course, he missed his wife at this special family event. Tatay almost knocked over the chairs for our side of the shrine, in domino fashion. Luckily, he caught the chair as well as his composure. We all had our moments, throughout the day, of being elated for Greg and missing Mom.

We didn't understand anything said during the ceremony or nor some of the significance, other than the Marriage Oath which Greg read in English. Okegawa-san told Tatay that some of the prayers recited were in ancient Japanese, that he didn't even understand!At one point, the Shinto priest was speaking to Fumiko-san and Greg; Fumiko nodded in agreement, but Greg just looks on yet realized some important advice is being said.


One thing that struck Tatay as different, was that there was no physical contact between Greg and Fumiko-san other than the exchange of rings, no kiss to seal the deal. In the Shinto ceremony, sealing the deal is expressed by sansankudo or "three, three, nine". Towards the end of the ceremony, our families drank sake to unify the families. Sake was placed in front of the kids, too. Jeff saw Yoshie-chan dip her finger into her sake cup and then make a yucky face!

The newlyweds easily crack a smile for Jeff, despite the curious crowd around them.

The Wedding Procession

The ceremony itself would be pretty simple, so no need for much practice -- the rehearsal was thirty minutes before the ceremony. Greg had no clue what he had to do until then (but typical, right?), nor did we. I guess that was bad for Greg - the anxiety of not knowing what he was to do -- poor guy didn't sleep the night before. During the rehearsal, Fumiko-san's assistant explained things in Japanese, which Fumiko-san translated for Greg and the rest of us. Poor thing was stressed out, she started speaking to her family in English and then stopped herself and said, "What am I thinking, I'm speaking to my family in English!" After signing their Marriage Oath, a few tries at the proper and synchronized way to offer the sacred branches to the Kami , sipping on a salty celebration drink, it was time to line up. Of course, there's protocal for that too, so we lined up according to our relationship to the bride and groom.



It only took five minutes for the wedding party to walk to the shrine. A very surreal five minutes. The processesion drew the attention from the Meiji-Jingu tourists and visitors and they started following alongside the procession, snapping up pictures of Greg and Fumiko-san. It was like they were celebrities with paparazzi stalking them. My cousin Jeff and Fumiko-san's brother-in-law, Masafumi-san were among the paparazzi -- each side of the family can have one designated photographer to fall out of line to capture the moments by photograph or video. Jeff was zigging and zagging around to get different perspectives. I don't think he realized he'd get a workout. Towards the end of the procession, I called out to Jeff to "Take a picture of all the crazy people taking pictures!" I have to admit, I was also a crazy person taking pictures the day before, when we saw a Wedding procession at the shrine. It really is a sight to behold.






Big thanks to cousin Jeff for running around in his suit, snapping pictures.

"The Chosen Ones"

Just wanted to clarify a few things:

No intended offense was meant when Greg and Fumiko-san kept their wedding ceremony to immediate family. Traditional Shinto wedding ceremonies include only immediate family. Click the link if you don't believe me. Part of the decision is following cultural protocal and not wanting to commit any fox paws (Norv's term) and the other, expense (theirs and yours!).

So, what the hell are Norv, Rindah and Jeff doing in the family picture? Even Norv was surprised he made the cut, often telling people that he's part of the 'Chosen Six'. Greg did qualify the invitation that he's invited as long as he was serious about me. Always a first for things, and by this, I'm referring to Greg being even mildly protective as a brother. My cousin Jeff is pretty much immediate family (and a real cousin, not a fake cousin) -- the holidays aren't the same when he and Rindah aren't around. As for Rindah, she's always good to have around because she's an easy target for jokes and a good sport about it. Kidding, kind of.

Before the procession to the temple, Fumiko-san's assistant did let a few of her friends participate in the procession and attend the ceremony, even though they weren't really dressed for the occassion. Very sweet of her to do this favor. I really did wish that the Solis', Bern, Danny, Eric and their families were there at that point, but we didn't know the assistant's kindness and discretion until we were ready to start.

The Accessory

Brides of every culture have accessories: the right shoes (or zori sandals), the hairstyle (or wig), the manicure (with pearls!), the jewelry (bling!). There's one more accessory. Tatay imparted this little gem years back, and when my friends Jen and Doy announced their engagement to him, he turned to the then groom-to-be:

"Marriage is for the couple; the wedding is for the bride. Just show up dressed, clean-shaven and on-time. You're just an accessory."

And so, a few words about the Groom. Just a few. Given my family's nature to rip on one another, I'd really like to say that Greg resembled one of the hosts on "Most Extreme Elimination Challenge", but I can't! He actually was quite striking in his haori coat and hakama.




P.S. Seeing someone bring Greg and Fumiko a mirror made Norv think of Morris Day and the Time, and Jerome, his man-servant. Bring me my mirror!

Transformation

With the deft craft of attendants to help her don her juban and kimono and tie her obi, apply her make-up and style her hair, Fumiko-san went from urban hipster to Stunning Bride in a few hours. When Fumiko-san's father called us over and walked us to a bride and groom taking pictures on the shrine grounds, we didn't recognize the pair. Fumiko-san was a living doll. She's always a doll, but she really looked like one this time.

One of the most frequent questions is about the 'do. Well, it is real hair, it's just not hers. Brides wear a katsura, a special wig, and some of the bride's hair is blended with the wig. Long hair is a sign of beauty and in days past, styling your hair intricately was a sign of a refined woman.

The wedding katsura that Fumiko-san wore is made to go with the white hood; the hood is to cover the horns of jealousy. I read some mumbo-jumbo about the hood also meaning obedience, but I'm sure it's been dropped in modern times just like the "...and obey" part has been dropped in the West. I don't think Fumiko-san is that traditional. She's honestly made Greg a better brother, son, and friend and that certainly doesn't come from speaking only when spoken to.

Jeff and Rindah just picked up a book, "Japan Unvieled", which had a passsage about the make-up -- the white make-up is to mask emotion and the crimson lips are one hint to sensuality. Another hint of sensuality is the nape of the neck, exposed by a draping neckline where the neck and back meet. Fumiko-san told us that her neck was shaved for the wedding. I suppose this is so the back is smooth and more refined -- I imagine that even the fine, black hair against the white make-up will only stand-out!



Her wedding ceremony kimono is a shiromuku, "shiro" meaning white and "muku" meaning pure. The shiromuku is so simple when viewed as a whole, but looking at the details of the silk, it's quite elaborate. The Japanese are very clever at juxtaposing differing concepts within the same body of work throughout their culture. I enjoyed catching on to small things like this.



At the Kekkon Hiroen or "Wedding Reception", Fumiko-san changed to the reception kimono or uchikake. The uchikake is adorned with the crane, the well-known symbol for fidelity and a long-life.

As women know, to look stunning comes with a price. I've had conversations with girlfriends about not wearing your sit-down only shoes (read: CFMP) with your stand-up only pants, skirt or dress. But we still do. It's the same with brides that wear the wedding kimono and all the accoutrements that comes with tradition. The wig is heavy and the obi and kimono are tightly wound. You have a staff of people primping at you all morning long. With extra weight on the head and restricted movement from the kimono and obi, try balancing around in slippers. Every once in a while, it's usually worth that extra bit of effort and discomfort, isn't it?